Throughout the duration of abuse whether physical, domestic, emotional, mental, to Narcissistic or of any form of abuse a persons life is completely transformed. There’s a new way to live and how to adapt and adjust to the new ways, coping becomes a challenge, a struggle daily. At the beginning after the abuse I was starting over trying to learn who I was, I am and just doing what I could to get through each passing day. My self worth was battered simply because I continued to blame myself for the involvement, how he manipulated, brain washed, gas light me to believe what I did for so long was due to unconditional love which wasn’t what it was. He rooted himself within me. After the no contact ended there was a hitch that led me to living in complete fear of the person. He did me a favor in the end as I began to live a more purposeful life. It surely toughened me, I became wiser, stronger and smarter in my life choices and who I led into my life. I found myself completely guarded, yet I knew who I could trust and count on even on the not so good days which there were. I learned to sit in the discomfort of the pain, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Nature, it became my solid foundation, writing again and strongly intensefully in my poetry and blogs after opening up. It was by far the scariest, terrifying moment to become candidly open in the blog. I’m referencing back to the blog on stolen identity.
Never say it won’t happen to you because it can especially in an online setting.
I remain to have the memories and flashbacks, I live with it. Most women do and will always it’s just how we live and what we can do in bettering our lives. It gets better in time. The healing and recovery has no time frame.
I’m living a new life, it transformed me completely.