The stress, the worry and tension. Every waking moment has come to this finding a way to better take care of myself going back to the list from a previous post listing created, taking the time for self, improving self, loving self, to be kind on self and others around me. A recent reminder to slow down in my time of difficult challenges was quite an incredible moment worth talking about. A man with his kids playing his accordion in the parking lot at Kohl’s. His music touched me in such a way to reach out to him. I handed him a ten dollar bill, it wasn’t much yet knowing he could at least use it. A woman pulled into a spot not far from me. She got out of her car with some cash, walked up to give to him. It was this very moment the Lord was working through us in an awe inspiring way. Not only did it fill my heart it grounded me coming back into the present. Lately, life has pulled me into completely different directions and it has caused my anxiety to sky rocket to almost panic. Once I work through it and with medication the depression kicks in to where I’m literally sobbing. “I want to give up”, telling myself. “You’ve got this Shellie, you can do this girl.” It isn’t easy to say the least. It was this moment though I’ll remember and how it made me feel, at peace.
When at times though I go to the very first person, he’s my best friend, my cheerleader, encouragement, support, motivation and undying love, a love I’ve never even experienced, only of my parents conditional love whom I miss so very much. Loss and grief isn’t something you get over, it may eventually ease up in time or simply to continue to live with. There are times every now and then when I mourn the loss. This is when I begin to talk to God and just pray. I’ll sit in the loneliness pull out my poetry note book and begin to write. It brings such peace and content to my soul. These days I’m finding a way to get back to what was my first love and that is merely my writing, the revisions of the books from the series.
In this blog I’m linking back to two separate blogs written quite some time ago. The story behind the book series The Journey Collection and tips on self care, self compassion.
What we experience in life, the difficulties of every day living, struggles, challenges we’re faced with. They lead us on a journey. The world is wide a crazy ride, in the end we find our meaningful purpose.
I don’t have the answers I simply follow my heart and remain to keep the faith alive in me when times get too tough to bare. I know who to go to in those times, though they are just a handful and honestly I like it that way.