What came and has gone has changed my way of life and living all together. I went into trauma counseling for PTSD, as to the anxiety/panic and depression. Sessions did wonders for my mental health and as for my physical health wasn’t doing much at first yet improved over time. I’ve gained much more responsibility as to priorities have changed, privately though remained grieving over loss. Family became even that much more important to me from May up till now. Grief, loss and mourning for more than a year and on has caused stress and worry as how I’d cope, coping I was and am. Independence and growth transformed me into such a way to fully take advantage my new lifestyle, fortunately I wasn’t taking enough time for myself putting my needs on the back burner. I went to people for help in areas of my life and frankly they didn’t do much only causing that much more stress on my part. Navigating through the waters was in fact bumpy, there were days of complete exhaustion, I was isolating, sleeping long hours at a time just to avoid the responsibilities I had on my full plate,and that it was. Not a clue, not one way to take time for me until I began going to the movies during the evening hours, and weekends. It was the only way and it was good for me mentally speaking, it kept my mind from racing thoughts and worry for awhile. What was missing was hitting the hiking trails at the parks I once went to. A friend of a friend stepped in for assistance and I’m grateful for it, it was a reminder to self motivate myself again and get on track where I left off and since then improvements were made, not that I didn’t have any stress and worry which I remain to struggle with daily. Life isn’t easy folks, in fact it’s down right hard. Who says there’s never any stress and worry? I’m reminded from him. He has a way to relieve the stress I carry.
Getting pulled into different directions from those around us isn’t always good. There are family members who have a way to push our buttons and those who don’t. SAY NO to those who pull you down.
I’ve said no on several occasions thus far, it’s made quite a difference. I’m blessed to know those whom I can go to as to church family. I’ve kept the faith through much of the year especially at those times I’ve literally wanted to simply end the chaos, giving up. I talked to God many days, many nights and prayed. I have felt such a change deeply within my heart and soul and those around me have seen it. Lord willing God does pull us through difficult times. When we stop from the chaos and simply live we feel much more at peace, peace has finally found it’s way through me through the life transitions. I’m so very excited for the next chapter, phase of my life and for the love of those I love so dearly. The move will be new and changes will continue. I’m beginning to slow down more, finding more time for myself and take days as they come. I see it clearly and it makes me happier than I’ve ever been. I’m living a purposeful life with him and it’s all coming in time. My writing is the strongest it’s ever been, it flows with such ease, with peace and content. My heart is getting back into writing books, testimonies, poetry and art work. That has become my second love. Eventually would like to get into missionary work in other communities. It is where my heart is, and with him we’ll be certainly create incredible memories.
Life on the map, the compass directs us, navigates us where we need to go. We’re all going through it, we’re living it, creating memories, moving forward, and the transitions are difficult as long as we have the right people in it. Lifestyle changes make it happen, and I’m continuing to grow and learn from them.
Remind yourself on those difficult days to take time for yourself, rest, reflect, breath and live. God pulls you through.