When I initially began to open up in the fall of 2018 I had such severe fear of being followed, harassed, assaulted in my place of work. The only time of absolute joy was far from online work activity which were tai chi classes, book club, walks in the park, bible study, church and volunteering. I found my place and it wasn’t online, it was far from it. In time though a pattern began to occur that was incredibly unsettling to me in which the fear returned and not for the best to say the least stepping away from work again. My work, my passion to connect with readers through the book series I began over 20 years ago that led me to self-publishing in 2013. Everything from book revisions, scheduling book reviews, poetry contests, etc. All my writing on complete hold again. It was my support group though who I turned to as they have been there for me from the beginning and I’m so grateful for them. I go to them when I feel the fear when I begin to slip and I have hence forth finally getting myself into trauma counseling as due to the online relationship and so forth in which lasted 2 years too long as I’ve said when officially coming out. All the fear, anger and hostility was raging and not in a good way. I never knew I had so much of it to be honest.
Now that I’m slowing working again the fear is dwindling a bit. I word my blogs differently yet at the same time I’m speaking the truth, no fluff period. I’m tougher, wiser and completely real as I have always been and always will be. Facts are facts. Online abuse is real and it’s damaging. I would have never known it. I’m now learning what it did to me and how to protect myself now yet at the same time talking with other women who live with the trauma of abuse whether it’s domestic or sexual. Abuse is abuse. On this platform I’m on it has become my mission to speak up on such a difficult topic and issue.
The tools I’m about to share are well worth it right here.
- change privacy settings on social media
- add additional security
- report, block and mute conversations that aren’t topic related on social media
- join closed support groups
- don’t interact, stop communication when being harassed
- carefully refrain from cursing swear words
- spend no longer than 1 to 2 hours a day on any social media outlets
- remain productive physically ( stay at home mom’s this one’s for you )
- don’t share any private or intimate information
- follow only blue verified check marks ( entertainment, businesses, world leaders for online self-employment)
- delete DM chats specifically for private matters
Once you open yourself up to online activity you’re opening yourself to the dark side, and the dark side will suck you in as far as it can and destroy you. You don’t know exactly where it’s lurking as it can be anywhere. It took me and changed my life and my well being. As little as 30 minutes anymore online, any reminders of the person who used, abused and taken advantage of me through a public figure knew what he was doing. I can barely watch any footage and when I do I turn it off of this human being, musician, songwriter entertainer. I merely support him in other ways now. That is just how it is.
Knowing, having a mental illness after a complete diagnosis trigger responses are different for everyone. It is a mental, emotional and physical combination. Those of you who read this I know it will be difficult or maybe help you in the long run.