A little more than 20 years ago I began to write daily in several journal books, spiral note books full of poetry as to regular note books full of testimonies/my own thoughts on life generally speaking. Up till 2011 all of those writings combined from those journal, spiral and note books began creating a full draft book. The title, The Poetry Diaries was well suited for the book. I self-published and released the mini book in March of 2013 via CreateSpace and Amazon. The book itself, it’s debut in the world meant the world to me as I went through several hurdles to get where I was going with no set plans in mind. Writing was my escape, therapy, a way to truly self express myself the only way I knew how to. I never intentionally thought of the idea to even self-publish it was from the support and encouragement from my truest best friends to an emerging friendship from a fellow writer. Their belief in me was awe inspiring to say the least. To use my words was using my voice. At the beginning of it all my thoughts on the book would hit a wide market, it wasn’t the case fortunately. It took two years for it to gain any traction, to get somewhere and in the hands of the people. In between that time I was already writing a second book of the material not used from the first book. Not knowing to me at first thought it was even a series. It clicked, it worked the way it was suppose to. The sheer determination in me to keep ticking and writing as it led to public events in my community of Stark County Ohio. Speeches made me a nervous wreck. Once I would get through them the nerves slipped from my thoughts. Those events were life changing as it would bring people more aware of what I wrote. Self-help in some aspects, poetry, with a spiritual overtone. Some folks will muter over the fact it is religious based. I never thought of it in that sense. To me It all made me realize it was more than just trying to make a name out of myself and my material. It was in fact talking for those who couldn’t. My words, my voice became a founding block for anyone who struggles to find their own journey out of life. It isn’t about the money or making a million. It is more the connection with someone that means the most. I as well realized my story is their’s. It was truly pro founding and insightful. I released two books in two years, The Poetry Diaries and Life In Color. It was the second book in which the name was changed slightly, Taking The Journey Life In Color. The material kept on flowing and the feelings, thoughts and emotions made there way through two more books The Journey Ahead and Beyond The Silence Of Love And Faith.
After self-publishing 4 books from an 8 part series I began taking on more projects in my life. The biggest project of my life utterly changed it that would lead to the 5th book An Unexpected Journey. That book fortunately was the last book I wrote before the hugest transition of my life. I was wrapped into ways I couldn’t keep up with myself. It left me in much of a rather vulnerable state, the most fragile state of mind, body and in soul. All the writing, the research on self publishing services, events and all other projects among a part time job led to illness, and along the way I lost my desire to write. The involvement with someone was by far the most draining on my mind,body and soul combined, it led to mental and emotional abuse and caused horrific pain and unstability. A Place not my own. The material I wrote all came in the form of pain, loss, suffering, grief, to joy and happiness. I didn’t have it inside me anymore. It came to the point I didn’t write at all. The passion and desire was no longer a part of me. There were days of not wanting to doing anything at all. I was a completely lost soul just living through the motions of every day life. It wasn’t living only existing. All the work, the writing from the previous books hung in the balance. They rarely made it online and abroad during the struggles I was living with.
For more than a year and half none of the books made any sense to me. Why did I even get into what I was doing. I struggle still to be truthfully honest.
Now though I remember why I set out on the journey to write to begin with, to be a voice for others as well myself. I may only just be a starving writer/artist who lost her voice trying to regain a sense of normalcy. It all happened through the winter of 2016 up through this year. I truthfully tried to write. Writing a love story in that duration wasn’t one at all. The book didn’t make it and was scraped, no longer in me consciously. All that I wrote of the book was removed online. It was only a story to be frank. In fact the reality was in deed mental and emotional abuse as I’ve said. It wasn’t love at all. Not the kind of unconditional love I’ve waited for, for half of my life.
These days I’m working on me in healing and recovery. It’s been the most difficult learning a new lifestyle and balancing it out. To my surprise though someone came along surprisingly who’s given me incredible hope. It sparked my writing again and with it I’m working on revisions of all the books starting with the very first that began more than 5 years ago.
In writing about the book series for you all has been such a challenge to get through. It has brought every tear through my emotions, thoughts and feelings.
All that I have ever done was merely on my own merits. No deadlines, no agent, no publishing companies to have all my copyrights to own. I hold all my own copyrights and material, cause what you get from me is real, raw and authentic. It’s the way it needs to be.
I partnered with Untamed Publishing as well Realistic Poetry International in 2017. My own work, poetry has graced the poetry community at Realistic Poetry in which can be read here:
Untamed Publishing has given me massive exposure. I’m ever grateful.
Currently all 5 books from the 8 part series are only available in Kindle Formats at Amazon here, however the only 1 in paper back print is The Journey Ahead. Revisions are at work at this time.
To have an audience and followers is unimaginable. I’m truly appreciative to those who’ve come and stayed, and to those who are just now getting to know me through my work.